This is something I’ve been embarrassed and ashamed to share. But if it wasn’t for others being brave, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. And when lululemon decides to join voicing this, its a sign!
So here goes, it’s been weighing on my chest, literally, to share and advocate for this. Even if I can help one person go through this, I want to be there to help
I feel like all my blogs have been about my health journey, sorry friends! I swear I have way more fun stuff to blog about! 🤣 as you know from my last blog post I was put on Humira for yet another autoimmune disease, I think I was up to around 5 diagnosed autoimmune diseases along with a bucket full of other symptoms that were undiagnosed. Honestly it’s probably a good thing I don’t know the exact total we spent on all the different drs, blood tests and meds. Let’s just say self employed insurance doesn’t cover anything 😬
So let’s back up before Humira and be completely honest and venerable for the rest of this. If you want to judge then I suggest leaving this blog right now, buh bye. 👋
When I was 25, after I had 3 boys in 5 or so years, nursed all 3 for almost a year each… my boobs didn’t look so hot 🤷🏼♀️. I was so excited to get to get a pair of fake boobs and all would be good in the world again. Little did I know this was going to be the beginning to a lot of horrible things in the 10 years to come.
I went with saline implants from a recommended plastic surgeon in Montana. I was very thin and after time they began to hurt. The next Dr I went to when I was 33 told me it was most likely the seam of the implant rubbing on my rib cage wall. Didn’t phase me then but now that makes me cringe. Since it’s recommended to replace your implants every 10 years or so we decided to replace them with another plastic surgeon in Montana. We decided on textured silicone implants. Spent a lot of time with the dr deciding this was the right choice. I can’t even tell you how many times either the dr or us said textured silicone implants or how many papers it was wrote down on for my treatment plan. (Turns our this dr put the wrong implants in me. Blessing in disguise) The dr did mention because she said she legally had to, the very small never going to happen chance of this type of implant causing cancer. We felt confident it was a fluke thing and the risk wasn’t legit. So we went ahead with surgery. I still remember that week. It was the week we drove to Idaho to pick up my first Cadillac that we had earned from our company, my oldest had a baseball tournament 3 hrs from home too. It was a crazy weekend but that’s how we live. I felt great the whole time.
I’m not sure exactly when it all started to go downhill. I remember always feeling off. Like a weird sickness that I didn’t know what it was. Brian would always tell me to go to the dr but I didn’t know what I would say when I got there. It was a weird feeling to describe. Over the course of 2 years I got increasingly sick. I went to more drs then I can remember trying to get help. I tried it all. Yep no gluten/sugar/eggs/dairy and the celery juice. Works for some but didn’t for me. I had also packed on 30lbs. I have always been blessed with a good metabolism which helped with my crappy eating habits. Adding 30lbs made me super uncomfortable. Let’s just say owning an online boutique and being the face of all the clothing hasn’t been fun. I had tried it all. Intermittent fasting, macro counting, reverse dieting, heavy lifting, lots of cardio. Anything and everything. I’ve had trainers who have felt for me and trainers who thought I was a lazy blob.
Sadly I had zero energy during all this as well. I was lucky to loose 4lbs max. And this was over a 12 week program multiple times. Nothing was working.
Everything hurt, I was crabby, emotional wreck, chronically exhausted and constantly felt like crap. I wasn’t the wife I had promised to be or the mother my children deserved.
I had heard about Breast Implant Illness somewhere in these past 2 years. I didn’t believe it. I thought it was a fad or a trend. I had joined a very large Facebook group of women claiming to have this. But I didn’t want to believe them so I left the group.
After my blog on Humira I received numerous messages from close family and friends, to friends of a friend. I’ve never publicly told the world I had implants so a lot of these people reaching out to me didn’t know. They were concerned that if I did, that I could be suffering from Breast Implant Illness. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate them reaching out to me. But life was busy then… getting kids back in school, 2 in football, getting ready for annual conference for work…You know how it is. So I went to Ohio, which apparently was risky on Humira- some weird soil thing. I knew my immune system was compromised from the drug and I was so scared to get sick there. I love my job and I didn’t want to miss a minute of the excitement or let my team down. I made it through the trip but getting home was another story.
I always take my kids to school, ALWAYS. Well up til now. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t stay awake, and as scary as this is I was falling into a scary depression. I have never dealt with having depression, never. The week after Ohio scared me. It scared my husband. It scared our families. I was at my breaking point. I didn’t know what to do. I had gone to urgent care the day I got home. I knew something had flared up. Negative for strep and mono, positive for ear infection. I knew there was more. I called my primary Monday am. I said I think my EBV numbers are up can I get my blood drawn. They had me come in right away. What’s crazy is that was my first diagnosis… Epstein-Barr virus 2 years ago. It’s something you have from having mono as a kid that lives in your body. Most people don’t have these horrible flare ups though. It just hangs out and doesn’t do anything. My numbers were 326. High numbers are 28.
The dr wanted to put me on an anti viral, I couldn’t take my Humira if I was sick. Freaking mess. I was sick of being sick. Sick of taking meds.
So i decided to look more into BII.
It was crazy. So many women in this group had the same diagnoses as me, so many were just like me. The real crazy thing, the women who had their implants removed were healthy again. A friend of a friend recognized my name on the page when I was posting my sob story. She reached out to me. She had her explant in the spring and had got her life back 🙏🏼 she has been an angel to me in helping me navigate this all. There are so many drs, some believe some don’t, some remove the capsule and some don’t. Some do other procedures to help you gain back your confidence, some don’t. My angel in disguise recommended her dr. He was one of the best of the best. And he did the little extra to make you feel beautiful 😉. Most of these drs are months if not years out. And the price is ridiculous. I emailed on a Friday for an online consult. The dr emailed me back personally on Sunday night (what dr emails a potential patient on a Sunday?!?) he said it looked like I had capsule contractor and he believed in BII and could help me. He sent his quote over as well. My wonderful husband said I don’t care the cost. If it makes you healthy and you again you can put a price on that 😭
So I emailed the office Monday am to see when the soonest opening would be. She said she actually just had a cancellation and asked if I could come next Thursday 😳. This is where it’s all kinda a blur. We took the appointment. Booked a flight from Montana to Dallas. Thank you delta skymiles. Called grandmas, got help for the kids, got a hotel. And the hardest part. Telling your 10,11 and 13 year old boys what was going on. They didn’t know I had implants. I now had to explain to them why I had them, what they were, and why I had to have surgery. It’s been a rollercoaster to say the least.
I didn’t meet my dr til the day before surgery and I have zero regrets in my decisions with a dr or with the surgeries I had performed. Just like I’m over taking meds, I’m over surgeries for my boobs. So I choose the go big or go home route with a little fat recycling as I like to call it 😉. 3 surgeries at once meant a harder recovery as well. But I felt the best I’ve felt in 2 years after those three surgeries. I was bruised and stitched and felt freakin amazing. I know it’s hard for people to understand how quickly you can heal from this. I didn’t think it would happen. The whole time I was so scared that if we spent all this money I’d still be sick. That’s actually why I’ve waited two weeks to share this. Well I’ve waited because initially was embarrassed and ashamed but also wanted to really see if this was the cure…. it is.
It brings the biggest smile to my face along with lots of tears every time my husband looks at me and tells me I look so much better, you have a gleam in your eyes, you look happy again….
I know I’m not out of the woods yet, still 4 weeks of recovery to go and I’m trying to rest as much as I can. The body is an amazing thing. Some bodies don’t have the issues I did with implants or foreign objects in them. Mine obviously was totally against silicone implants 🤷🏼♀️. I’m proud of myself for all I’ve been through. I’ve had days where I’m scared to death. I’m so thankful for my husband and kids. I wouldn’t be here without them. Our whole support system has been truly amazing. I’m not sharing this for myself at all. I’m sharing this in hopes that someone else who is suffering like I was will see the hope and be brave.
#boobtruth #metoo #bii #thehealisreal